A Letter For Mother

For the dearest Mother,

I have a very little ask
Can you stop being busy to find someone for me to love
For me to marry; a partner for the rest of my life.

Because, it's for the rest of my life...
Yes, a partner for the rest of my life
At least, I want someone whom I know, and who knows me better
Someone who has stated he loves me,
Someone who takes me for the way I am, 
Not only wants to marry me
A perfect partner, at least for me
Though he's not the perfect husband
Just because marriage is for me like a journey with a friend,
A best friend, or a best friend going to be...
That's why I need time to know him, and he knows me
To love him, and he loves me
So, it's not about being married after three or four months I met him.
What I worry is not me who's not getting married,
But a rush decision to end everything that come up in the middle of my journey with him.

It's okay, Mom.
That's really okay, for me to wait
Because what I believe there's always a rainbow after the rain
What we need is to wait,
There's always the best for those who wait
Can we just wait, Mom?

#Day7 Tintaku Habis!

Sambil mengambil momen banjir Unisma tanggal 15 Januari, yang adalah sekarang, saya sedikit mengucap syukur, bukan karena tidak jadinya ujian hari ini (Hmm, hari ini sebenarnya dijadwalkan ujian online Bahasa Inggris untuk para mahasiswa Unisma) tapi bersyukur untung banjir ini tidak berpengaruh terhadap perlistrikan kampus. Kalau tidak, mungkin entah bagaimana nasib ujian besok.  Maaf, kalau sedikit berlebihan. Okay, abaikan.

Hal lain lagi, sambil iseng-iseng saya bermain dalam dunia "cicitcuit" ada yang terbaca dalam timeline saya yaitu, twitnya si King Aris dan ratunya tentang hari jadi mereka yang ke setengah tahun. (Oh Tuhan! Setengah tahun. Hebat!) Secara iseng pula, saya pun me'reply' twit mereka dengan teks seperti ini: "@winndhie @kingaris19 <~~ Pasangan yg pacaran dalam ruang diskursif. Ckckck....". Bukan bermaksud jail, tapi satu hal yang saya sadari bahwa mungkin sudah seperti itu hidup saat ini. Pacaran tanpa perlu pergi ke taman sambil makan kacang rebus, atau surat-suratan. Tapi sudah ada media lain, media virtual. Itulah hidup saat ini kawan!

Bukankah sama juga dengan ujian yang di'online'kan? Yup, sama, medianya yang sama; dalam program yang didigitalisasikan. Pembahasan, perdebatan, curahan hati, bahkan sebuah tes saat ini sudah tidak perlu menggunakan kertas dan pena lagi. Sudah tidak ada lagi tinta yang tersisa. Viva komputer! Bravo internet!



Sedikit ulasan hari ini,

#Day6 Dia Oh Dia....

Dia tidak datang dengan mesin waktu. Tapi datang diantara kejenuhan hati akan bualan kata-kata manis laki-laki sebelumnya. Dia ada diantara adaptasiku terhadap dunia, strata, dan status sosial yang baru. Dia, yang hanya bisa kulihat di kejauhan, dia, yang punggungnya selalu nampak indah bagiku, dia, yang senyumnya melunturkan kesombongan yang selalu kupelihara, menghidupkan kembali rasa. 

Dia hidup, namun interaksinya tak pernah terjangkau olehku, bahkan di ruang diskursif sekalipun. Dia, dengan kesibukan dan kemalasannya yang kukagumi menyadarkan bahwa ada laki-laki lain diluar garba nyamanku. Dia dengan kesederhanaan kemapanannya tak membuat aku tiba-tiba bertanya "Berapa gajimu per bulan?" _ tampak mapan, namun terlihat tidak mapan, ataupun tidak mapan sekalipun sungguh tak secuil pun aku permasalahkan _ Dia mengucilkan semua kriteriaku akan laki-laki idaman. Bukan nyaris sempurna, tapi rasa sempurna hinggap dalam penilaianku tentangnya. 

Dia yang tak pernah tahu, mungkin tak akan pernah tahu. Dia yang hadir, kemudian pergi. Tanpa perpisahan. Bahkan aku tak sempat mengucapkan betapa aku menyukai sepotong senjaku bersamanya di sudut warung kopi biasa.

Semoga kita bertemu di lain hari, Bung!

Dalam bahasan isu-isu kontemporer menyebalkan lainnya.

                                                                   A tribute to someone whom I know for only 4 months,

                                                                                      Mariya (Tidak sedang galau)

 

#Day5 Talking to The Future

Hello, Future Me....
Can I ask you what I will be next five years?
Will I be a wife? A mother?
Or still be what I am like right now...
Free and single?
Ah, a silly question. Isn't it?
Okay, you can LOL me someday. 

Well, Future Me....
Actually, I am wondering.
Will I still have the friends that I have now?
Will they change?
Or I am the one who will change?
Hmm, a big wondering exactly.
Just ignore it.

Is it okay for you if I ask a lot?
About my future of course.
The prince charming, will he knock my heart?
Bringing so much love, happiness,
and a white rose every morning.
Not a breakfast, because you precisely know
that I don't do breakfast, right?
Oh, or I will do breakfast next years.
Who knows?
Aha! You're the one that know it Future Me.

I do have many questions for you, Future Me.
I am questioning,
Will I get a Ph.D scholarship?
Will I stop teaching?
Will I move to four seasons country?
Will I stop smoking?
Will I be slim?
Or....
Will I still be alive?
Next...next...years...
But, Future Me, if you don't want me to know my future,
Can you keep these question lists? Answer me someday.
We got a deal, then.

Hey, Future Me...
I am telling you now
That I write what I am writing right now
Is to be read by you years...years...later...
Hope that you will laugh at this crappy chatter.
And, don't forget to answer them.

By the way, can you travel to my time and answer those questions now?
A time machine would probably help.
Oops, another silly question.
Again, just ignore it.
Bye, Future Me
See you next years....


                                                                                                      Sincerely,
                                                                                                      Me Today.